You hurt me n i heart u back

the dayz of college when u hearted someone n someone hurt you back ..
i tried to convey you d reality n tried to bring u on d track..
u shared hundreds of hours of the person whom i never wanted to know..
consumed mine quality hundreds for nothin..now u should know..

when u got sober, u forget everything I did for u..
even the worst ,u start hating me.. why the hell I did dis for u..
i never want you to realize that I did anything..
but wanted respect which I can never compromise.. for u it could be merely a thing..

I asked you to respect d relation v had..
but u respected those who were not wearing genuine clad..
I had pleny of friends who understood the meaning of being Me..
but you were not yourself and you always took care of your's 'me'.

I heart u for the kind of person you were not ..
you hurt me for the kind of person I should have not..
It is very easy to say na..you are second close to me..in fourth month of f****ship..
when actually first close never existed..and neither in your mind , the true meaning of friendship..

I know you now and your **** tantrums..
you can't even stand to listen what you did, and keep your mouth mum..

Alas! why did I meet you now.
Do you wanna repeat the samething somehow..
I will teach you a lovely lesson..
u hurt me n i heart u back ..not dis one.. but another one.. ?????

No ping in busy phone

I think I am one of those busy people who spend most of their time on their phone. Cant imagine why but most of that time is passed in thinking about a single person who is just a friend of mine. I have more than 78 friend in my gtalk list but hardly I wait for anyone's ping (few exception are their). But after March, looking at my phone has become my habit. No matter it vibrates or not, I used to think a friend of mine has pinging me (here  I am talking about a very particular friend of mine). A friend who disturbs me a lot, just to say good morning and good night with a beautiful smile. Just a line and I cant keep myself away from my cell phone no matter where I am or in what condition.

Theory of conditional Reflex by Ivan Pavlon is not only applicable to dogs. It is also applicable on human beings. A bell ring and dog will salivate. In the same way, a ping on my phone, I will think it is Gtalk ping from her. Mobile may ping for email, sms and other reason but my mind doesn’t respond that way.

I was waiting for her ping from early morning but considering the fact that she had habit to sleep till 9 A.M., I was destined to wait.

I was opening her chat window after every 2-3 minutes thinking that gmail is not working fine and she might have sent me message in offline mode. I have pinged her many times before but first time in my life, my ego was playing role and blocking my way from my sweet heart (not GF). It was hard to imagine or tell how much I was missing her. Instead of doing my important stuff I was thinking about her and feeling bad about our last meeting in which we didn’t even talk nicely. I know she was feeling bad about my rude behavior and she was hurt a lot but I was feeling the same.

I was missing everything of her, her smile, her useless talks, her fight and many more things. The day was like a year for me.

Finally at night 10, I got a ping from her when I was eating Pizza. I kept my pizza aside and started talking to her and ask her did she miss me? I know the answer was yes but she will never say yes.

Just after 2minutes I got call from her for good night wishes and I know she only wanted to hear my voice. She wanted to tell me that she is fine and I am missing you. Her way of talking told me everything and I just loved it.

Now I don’t know what to say more but all that I can say is I love you and you will always remain in my heart. I will end with one Bengali phrase

 “Tumi robe nirobe hridoye momo”

Friend or Joker - My life for someone

Many of many friends use to tell me that I am his/her friend. Whenever they are sad they use to call me or come to me to share their problem and asking for solution. I use to think that I am his/her good friend so I should think about them. They are my friend and they need my help.

Many friend comes to my life and I enjoyed every moment with them and then they left.. But I never felt wrong or bad for them as god didn’t design in that way. I won’t say he created me to love everyone but I can say I never want something wrong happen to anyone.

05^th August, 2012, its friendship day and everyone is wishing their friend to remain with them. But there is something wrong going in mind. From childhood to today, I was there for my friend no matter it is day or night. I was never late or I will I use to reach before time so that they don’t have to wait for me.  But same never happened with me. I have to ask them when they are meeting and have to assign all my work according to their schedule without thinking of mine. Are they taking me as option to pass their time? Are they taking me as Joker who can entertain them? All my blogs, my personal life, my failure and my problem are used to make them smile. So does this mean they are my friend but reverse is a myth.

There is one famous Quota by someone

"Never make someone your priority, when they only make you an option" 

Sometime I think this quote was written for my type of personality.

There are always reason of complain but I am not making any complain. Actually I should be making any complain as I had given people thought about me. Reaching to their place by covering more than 30 km just to see them and eat ice cream with them. Even after travelling so much they will tell you that I am wasting my time. It’s always their plan but according them it’s me who is disturbing their life

I will finish just by saying you

"It's Obvious You don't listen when I talk, may be You'll listen to my footsteps as I walk away"